An Itch

I have an itch. I can't seem to find where its exact location is, or relieve the annoying, restless feeling it gives me. This is not a regular, under the arm, sort of itch. Instead it's a God itch. I know many know what I am talking about. That feeling that God wants you to do something, make a change, endure a transition, but you aren't quite sure what that "something" is.

I have been feeling this God itch for a year now. Soon after I started actively researching this missions trip the itch became very noticeable. Every time I sit still and have quiet time this itch becomes so uncontrollable I end up banging my head against the wall (okay, not really). The problem for me is that I want to know all the details right now. I don't want to wait for clues or piece a puzzle together, I want clean lines and absolutes. Of course as a Christian, whose been hanging with God for a while, I realize my life is going to be about puzzles and clues, and I just have to embrace it.

One of my fears about going to India is that this itch will grow exponentially. What if God wants me to leave my world in America and become a missionary in India? It scares me more now than it did two years ago because I have a family to think about now. Moving to India before was a matter of my own transition and change. Now, I need to consider how it affects my husband. What if he doesn't share the same passions as I do? Or worse, what if I use him as an excuse to ignore my passions and God itches?

I know that God won't do anything that will divide my marriage, but what scares me is this itch is growing each day and I still can't determine where it's coming from. I know going to India is the beginning and from there God will continue to reveal next steps of this journey.

I need to place my fears and anxieties at the cross and remember that He has planned this experience. He has planned my life with such detail that I don't have to do anything more. This itch is God's way of reminding me that I am not in control He is. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but He will. This itch exists to remind me that He is working upstream in my life and He has plans for my life.

This God itch is bringing me peace in knowing He hasn't forgotten about me. He has something great for me to do for His kingdom. He is going to use me as His vessel in some wonderful way. This itch is merely His way of igniting my desire to follow in whatever he places before me next.